Alone Again
by Anti-Social-Turtle
Summary: will losing alex prove to hard.... my little thingy i wrote before the season premier!


Disclaimer: I don't own shit! I'm a 13(almost 14) year old girl who doesn't get an allowance. So deal with it!  
  
A/N: ok so I am reading all these spoilers and crying and such so I think I need to write this before the new season starts next Monday.  
  
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Kim looked through the thin glass that separated the hallway from where her best friend lay. She watched Beth Taylor's shaking form as she sobbed over her daughter's body. It took all her strength to keep from breaking down in front of Beth, but Kim knew she couldn't. Alex was gone, for both of them, and they would never have her back no matter how much Kim cried. Beth had asked to be left alone, but Kim couldn't seem to peel her eyes off that window.  
  
Finally willing her body to move, she turned towards the emergency entrance. Most of the squad was huddled in groups waiting for news on Lieu, and others were just sitting. She had never seen those men so quiet.  
  
Walking over towards them, she swore her legs were going to give out from under her. She walked in Joe's direction and took a seat. He was by himself mostly, elbows resting on his knees with his head in his hands. He looked up when he felt her presence.  
  
"Does Jimmy know?" he asked in a wavering voice. The whole room became pretty much silent, all eyes concentrated on Kim. She looked up at Joe and seemed to be holding her breath.  
  
"Oh man." Was all that could escape her lips. Followed by an inaudible cry. Joe jut looked at her. He knew nobody would want to make that phone call, but Jimmy had to be there.  
  
"I can do it Kim" Joe offered.  
  
"No, he's with Joey, I don't want him to get him upset" Kim said. She knew she would have to do it. Joe only nodded. Not only would she have to tell Jimmy that Alex had died, but also that Lieu was also now fighting for his life.  
  
Kim got up and walked over to the admit area. Bending over the desk, Mary Proctor gave her the phone with a solemn nod. She picked up the receiver and took a deep breath, once more looking over at Joe. With one more breath she sighed and dialed his all-too-familiar phone number.  
  
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"Hello?" Jimmy answered the phone wondering who would call at this time of night.  
  
"Hey Jimmy, its me" Kim replied feebly.  
  
"Hey, what's up?" he talked as if totally unaware of the tone in her voice.  
  
"Jimmy, I think you better drop Joey off at my moms and come down here." She said, not really wanting to go into details on the phone.  
  
"Ok where's here?" he was getting concerned.  
  
"Mercy, Jimmy, its bad I don't think we should do this now." She looked back over to Joe to only receive a nod.  
  
"Are you ok?" she was really starting to worry him and Kim heard it in his voice.  
  
"Jimmy, I'm fine, you just need to be here ok?" she was now on the verge of tears.  
  
"Ok, I'll be right there." and on that solemn note he hung up the phone.  
  
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Kim went back towards the chairs and again sat next to Joe. She could tell he had been crying, probably for the lost sense of control they were all used to having. They all felt it; an eerie feeling in the pit of your stomach that you somehow could have prevented this, but it didn't changed that fact that they had lost her. The doctor still hadn't come with word on Lieu, and that tension wasn't helping either.  
  
Still with a watchful eye on the door for any sign of Jimmy, she stood and on weak legs moved toward her fallen friend. Thought shielded by glass she felt her hand on her shoulder. She heard her dying words. And she felt a tear roll down her cheek. She turn away as to not upset the grief stricken Beth with her own woes, she saw Jimmy.  
  
She held her breath and walked over to him, with her head held low. She didn't want to look him in the eye and tell him she stood there while their best friend died. She didn't want to tell him at all. As she slowed her pace she allowed her mind to decide for her exactly how to say the words. How to form the sentences. How to react, and look in his eyes. She didn't want to do any of this. But his eyes were unavoidable as he stood there and tried to take in the scene unfolding around him.  
  
The men on the squad were silent and mournful, and he didn't seem to notice that Alex and Lieu were absent from the sadden gathering.  
  
Kim walked to him silently, he understood her expressions, and they had known each other too long to not notice.  
  
"Who?" was all that he had to choke out. She let a tear long since held back again roll down her cheek as the shared a silent hug.  
  
Breaking out of the embrace, just enough to see into his face, she began to sob.  
  
"Alex" she whispered through choked gasps. She felt an immediate chill wash through him and he backed away. Tears came to his eyes as well as he tried to form the questions racing through his mind.  
  
"What? How? When?" he asked all at once finding himself forced to sit down under the weight of the threatening tears.  
  
"There.there was an accident, if was fast Jimmy none of us saw it coming, it just happened."  
  
"She's.de..gone?" his voice faltered on the words. Kim just looked at her feet; she didn't have the strength to say those words yet. She gave a feeble nod and took a seat next to him.  
  
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She sat there with her hand on his knee and told him everything. The car, the old couple, the explosion, Lieu, and Alex. She tried her best but there was no sense in avoiding the tears. They shed them together. For Alex, and for Lieu, and for the longing they felt now between them.  
  
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Who knows how many hours had passed, how many tears were shed, but the doctor finally came out.  
  
Lieu wasn't doing well. Well was an understatement. The doctors exact words were "it would be a miracle if he survived the night" and none of them really held much hope.  
  
This family of course was let in first, his wife decided to bear his youngest daughter of the site. Her father bandaged, bleeding, and dying on a hospital gurney..a 4 year old didn't need that. But Lieu protested. He knew it was coming, the taste of death seeping through the sheets that covered his burnt skin.  
  
Slowly but surely he had the "brothers" of the squad say goodbye. It was surreal for most of them, and the regret they wore on their face was all too familiar to Lieu. He had given it himself many a time.  
  
It was Jimmy's turn. He opened the door to Lieu's room and it took all his strength to stay standing. The bandages covered most of his upper torso, face, and arms. Slowly the blood of the wounds seeped through, and all Jimmy could think about was if any one told him about Alex.  
  
Deep down he had that 'other' thought. The kind that keeps you awake at night, gazing off into your ceiling hoping to see unwritten answers.  
  
Was she with her father? Would she be with Lieu, whenever his time were to come? Was Lieu going to survive the night? Was Joey scared? Does he even know what is happening?  
  
All these random questions jumping through his mind as he made the short trek to the gurney.  
  
The room was barren. Save the machines and tubes aiding in Lieu's "recovery". All they could hope now was that it was fast. But the squad had been through this tragedy too many times before, they knew the drill, and it would not be fast.  
  
He came in Lieu's narrow field of vision. His breathing was lessening already and Jimmy couldn't stand the thought of watching him die. He held his bandaged hands in hope of giving him comfort. Help ease his pain.  
  
"Jimmy?" his words were weak and forced.  
  
"Yeah Lieu, its me" he said with a nod as he stood over his bed, "its me"  
  
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TBC.ok so I depressed my self writing this, hope it isn't too heart breaking (sorry ella) PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAASSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


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